birds eye view

Since beginning my semester abroad, I’ve had time to realize some important things. Most specifically: myself. It’s been interesting to learn who I am when I’m removed from everything I’m usually surrounded by. In analyzing this, I’ve noticed something kind of concerning. I have an awful habit of deciding who I am based on who I’m with, where I am, or what I’m doing. Unsettling, right? I think so. Now that I’m not with these people, or in these places, or repeating the same day over and over, it’s like a magnifying glass has been put up to this issue.

The whole idea is kind of bizarre, if you think about it. Why am I so quick to ignore the things I care about just because the people I’m with aren’t interested? I’m not sure why humans have this innate need to blend in with everyone, boringgggg. I don’t want to be that person; however, I’m guessing most people say that. So what’s the difference between saying it and doing it?

I’m no expert, but I have been experimenting with this question. There have been many times in the past that I’ve felt passionately about something, just to disregard it the second someone else has a different opinion. I’m guessing being aware is the first step, so I’m already past that, thank god.

Now that I’m on my own (sort of), I’ve been trying to be very aware of when I do this. I want to go to this shop, but my friends are too hungry; it’s okay, go without them. I want to make the most out of my experience, but the people around me are being negative; it’s okay, be positive anyway. I don’t agree with what my friends are doing; it’s okay, don’t do it then. This may seem like common knowledge, but it’s harder than you think.

There’s really no right or wrong way to do something (as long as you aren’t hurting anyone). Who’s to say what I should and shouldn’t want to do? What does and doesn’t make me happy? Nobody. Most of the things that I think are wrong are because of the people I’m with or the place I’m in, telling me they are. Who is actually stopping me? Why am I held back by 3 of 8 million people? Looking from above, it’s very weird how we hold so much importance in such unimportant things. I’m far from fully understanding this, but I do know a few things.

Do what you want.

Be who makes you happy.

Do things that fulfill you.

Go places that make you feel alive.

And most importantly,

Never apologize for any of it.

-wvs